completely torn !!!

Very tired and torn - thats me... After a long time , yesterday's trekking had really pulled me down to the bed for almost 10 hrs !!! Now I am feeling little bit better, but the tiredness is still there. The forest started from dry decidous vegetation to many evergreen patches... still It was not as what i imagined it to be...We had to enter only as tourists (by paying some money for us, vehicle and guide(compulsory).. So we were not allowed to enter the virgin forest. The valley was called silent valley because originally it dint have any cicadas. You should listen now, only cicadas..that too when you passby - after you cross the area, they stop and new group starts giving sound. Thus the forest was really noisy and one cannot even listen to "howou"s of Langurs..I was seriously dissappointed, because i was not able to see even one langur or a giant squirrel. Everyone was interested in bird sightings and as soon as they were satisfied, they were keen on getting down to the vehicle. Mch.. Anyway I had the camera in charge so i was clicking many pictures (Light wasnt sufficient inside the dense forest - it was really wild and dark). the group with which i went is slightly on the less wilder side and more talkative side. SO I dint really enjoy their company inside the forest..They dint explore some deep ends. But I am seeing such a forest for the first time (after TV) in reality , I was thus impressed and enjoyed the surrounding.At the same time, there was something itching inside, are we trying to spoil all these cerature's life by polluting the environment. After visiting such areas, you dont feel like doing certain things - like buying a leather good, visiting a butcher shop. I understand they are different from wild. But I am trying to say about the animals themselves. I have always felt "It's amazing to know how animals walk in the darkness of the forest in the night, without the shoes you wear, the dress you wear, without tying your hair, without any surity abt the next meal unlike us, completely adapted to the wild, the predators, their own lifecycle..Isnt that amazing ? Even for a cycle, we rely on a rear view mirror and a horn. The animals in the wild have to walk kilometers every day crossing so many barriers and they have natural rear view mirrors and horns in their senses. Isnt that amazing ?.. I cannot imagine a world without electricity at all - yes we can manage.. but still.. but in the wild... Whenever I walk back from the ofice in the late-night, I will always walk quiet for one reason to maintain silence so that animals dont come upfront and there shud be no encounter, another reason is fear. Even after choosing this field, it is natural to have some fear undeneath always, for all the people in the field it is very natural i guess. That time, I use to imagine if i were an elephant how will i walk into the forest, where my eyes would be fixed, what i would be thinking and where i will take rest or sleep, how will i sense something is around ?.. It was unimaginably wonderful..!!! Bein an elephant or say a shrew is not such an easy job - Being a human being (whether you become a engineer or a coolie) is easier than a wild animal's job... But being with many human beings is sicker than being in a wildlife community. Okay I will stop boring you da.I have taken many photographs (guess how much - 250 pictures).I cannot send them all, because we dont have the cable now to transfer them in to the computer. i can see them after 3 weeks maybe.

The two guys who promised to take me earlier dont even say "hi" to me now..

I never did anything intentionally i just want to visit that place before i leave sacon, unfortunately, IT is so funny and sometimes hurting. I always had respect on them as seniors... Maybe they dont like the people with whom I had made this trip. Somehow i also dint like the company since i dint see what i mainly wanted to see (the LTMs and NLs) I seriously dont understand all this ! Will continue later bye...