sacon is a pigsty

I had been thinking over certain things that is happening around me a few days in the past - Its really getting worse..Sometimes he use to tell me "Dont you feel that fire is eating and circling you up ?", I use to look at him with a perplexed look in my face. Now I can almost feel the fire creeping under my feet. What say you ?
Last week, after I had been to silent Valley, things have changed between me and people out here - they have started to look at me differently. This is the first time I have cried for being so embarassed by two women. I knew that they dont respect these guys (they have told me that), but how come they can show off in front of everyone that they care so much for their future and thus comment on me.... and whoever went for the trip....

I was really raging mad, I would have slapped Ms.A and Ms. J.... Infact i was thinking what is their fucking problem ? when the problem actually involves only Mr.A and Mr. B... ?
They say, there was a case about to be booked on seven of us who went to the valley because Anjan has collected some soil samples without permission. Infact I was slightly worried. I cannot imagine myself accused on a wildlife offense case (which i dint commit at all), when my personal dream is to conserve the wildlife. I know this is just the tip of the iceberg. I was amazed to watch people differently thereafter. It was shocking too..Internal politics here is sick. I really feel nauseating sitting and watching such things.
Atleast now I am feeling better and woke up to find myself in a deep crevice afraid of all this politics. I have better jobs to do and so will I.
I am happy that my brain still exists and my sense is active and I could choose between bad and good.
I had some respect and some sense of genuine feeling for the two silent valley people, atleast one of them Mr. A was quite friendly to me, Mr. B had helped me by giving so many downloads on primates too... I had been insisting them everytime, but suddenly they wont be found,
and Ms. A would say that they had gone to field.
I felt like a fool, because they had not even asked me whether we can make this time... I ultimately decided that I am disturbing their schedule...
I think they perfectly took revenge on me by making all these people talk about me... Shit ! I hate them man... I have never felt so much hurt.. If they had guts, they must have called that anjan and scolded him, why did they target me ? What did I do ? That way we entered the valley only as tourists right ?
Why did they hurt me in front of all those people man ? What mistake did I commit ? Are they just chauvanist people ? I kept quiet only for the sake of Mr.A and Mr.B ! thats all....
i cried like hell that night for so much embarassment.... anyways i had decided not to keep any kind of attachment with these guys and girls including the ones who had cme to SV... they are sick as hell...